Just because someone else didn’t choose you doesn’t mean that connection wasn’t special. I was, for a few months three years ago, the happiest I’d ever been in the longest time. I felt adored. I felt like someone had found me special.
He made me feel beautiful and appreciated. Yes, things didn’t work out in my favor because money money, money, but it was a tremendous lovely experience. It was a beautiful era. For a time, someone made me feel like I’m worth calling up all his friends to impress me for our first meeting. Someone felt like teaching me how to skate with gentle, soft hands that I will never get to hold again. Someone did exert extreme effort to impress me. And he performed beyond my expectations. He was extraordinary to me. When he wants something, he excels like no other. It just sucks that he didn’t want me enough to choose me over money, money, money. He chose the more convenient path. It’s painful but it is what it is.
Honestly, despite calling him Sauron, I am grateful that someone made me feel beautiful. Things didn’t work out for me but I was so happy. It was the happiest I had ever been. But it wasn’t meant to be. He doesn’t love me enough to choose me. Money money money. It hurts but that’s life.
Someday, someone else will give me the love I long for. Someone will give me the one thing noon e has ever given me…consistency. That person must be something else because the Lord is saving me for him. His prayers must be powerful because it sends people to California to marry someone else. I am positive that it will be the most beautiful love story of my life.
Living in your queen energy requires you to stand in your power and look after yourself to the highest degree in every area of life. When tapping into this higher frequency, you realize that putting yourself first allows you to show up at your best – both for yourself and others. Here are some tips to embody the queen energy you’re meant to live in:
Put Yourself First: Remember – your self-perception becomes your public image. You need to believe in yourself before others will. Believe that you’re worthy of living your dream life which includes achieving your loftiest goals and indulging your deepest desires. Reframe any resistance. Identify as someone who lives a life of abundance where all of your manifestations enter into your orbit with ease.
Be Honest With Who You Want To Be: Sit down with yourself (and some writing utensils – whether it’s pen and paper or a keyboard) and journal to describe your ideal self. Don’t hold back. Indulge in your wildest dreams, goals, and fantasies. Become conscious of any limiting beliefs that come to mind as you write out these aspirations. Jot them down – they’ll give you some insight into what’s holding you back, so you can bridge the gap between who you show up as today and who you’re going to be once you put in the inner work.
Make A Deliberate Effort To Discover Your Values, Passions, & Boundaries: Figure out what matters most to you in life. What activities, topics, aesthetics, art, clothing, hobbies, sounds, movements, books, television shows, movies, songs, and types of conversations most light you up inside? Here are some resources to guide your self-discovery journey HERE, HERE, and HERE.
Build A Strong Personal Brand & Cult of Personality: I have more tips on building your personal brand, creating your persona (or ‘Dream Girl archetype’), and an ultimate Femme Fatale playbook linked HERE,HERE, and HERE.
Prioritize All Aspects of Your Health: Physical, Mental, Emotional, Sexual, Spiritual. Celebrate your needs – they make you human. Eat a healthful, plant-based diet, exercise and walk daily, meditate, read at least 10 pages a day, journal, make to-do lists, declutter your space, self-pleasure, recite your affirmations, lean into shadow and mirror work, create morning and nighttime routines. Feeling in alignment is essential to allowing your magnetic aura to shine through. Find all of my tips to cultivate self-regard in every area of life HERE.
Read, Study, & Build A Strong Skillset: Designing the life of your dreams is an inevitable aspect of living in your queen energy. Stay informed, read books and articles on your industry, interests, current events, cultural happenings, history, and any other topic that brings you joy or you would find intriguing if someone brought up the subject at a dinner party. Mastering an evergreen skillset is essential for succeeding in your career or building a business. Living in your queen energy means living in abundance. While queen energy is a mindset, it is impossible to fully live in this dream reality without having passions and your finances in order. Start with my entire Femme Fatale booklist HERE and guide to building your dream career HERE.
Learn The Art of Detachment: Acknowledge what’s out of your control. Living in your queen energy means you understand that it’s important to work your hardest and smartest to determine the outcome of anything you can control. Otherwise, you have to let it go – people, professional opportunities, possessions. Projection, misalignment, or an undesirable fit does not deter you from striving toward your goals and relishing in satisfaction. Others’ contempt and rejection serve as a cue for self-reflection and redirection.
Become Extremely Discreet Yet Utterly Shameless: Do as you please, but keep your business (or pleasure) to yourself. Privacy is peace, power, bliss, and radiates quiet confidence – the greatest telltale sign that someone is living in her queen energy. Learn to hold your own. You will be guaranteed to earn respect within seconds of gracing anyone’s presence.
Maintain Proper Posture: Shoulder back, chest open, back straight. Don’t be shy about taking up space.
Accept Compliments With Grace: A smile and ‘thank you’ pairing is the most confident and elegant response. Some more confidence and social skill tips are linked HERE and HERE.
Live Unapologetically While Displaying Radical Empathy: Uphold your boundaries. Live your truth. Never beg or settle for less.
You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are. Anything you’re chasing is out of alignment for you. You’re forcing something that doesn’t work and that’s how you end up hurting your own feelings. Stop chasing and start attracting. Don’t like what you’re attracting? Work on getting better. Settling for less, is also chasing and forcing. Overlooking red flags and things you’ve outgrown because you’re ignoring the things you need to work on. Life doesn’t respond to who you pretend to be, it responds to who you are. Give yourself all the things you admire in others. You are the architect of your life.
The disciplined. That girl. The attractive one. The most feminine. The cultured, well read one. The girly and extra one. The one who’s always put together. The sensual. The kind hearted. The alluring. The happy, warm, sunny person. The classy. The elegant. The graceful belle.
how to become your dream girl before the year is out
it is never too late to start, you have been putting it off for a long time, you have a lot of information but you don’t know how to apply it to your life.
ask yourself how would the best version of yourself act? what would the best version of yourself look like? what are the habits that your best version would have? what are the goals of your best version? what would you like to change to get closer to your best version?
2. take action
after knowing what you can do to improve, put it into practice now. some ideas.
start with new habits
be more organized and disciplined
be aware of your value
have a more positive mindset open to change
change your perspective on things
let go of what doesn’t serve or benefit you
more self-love
surround yourself only with things that are good for you (also people)
change your internal dialogue to a more positive one.
start acting the way you would like to be, without fear.
3. feel, act and live like your best self
changing old patterns is not easy, but start doing it by replacing those old habits with ones that add to your life.don’t live in the past anymore, start living your present, start acting and being the person you have always dreamed of being that doesn’t mean you have to completely change your personality, it means you are improving your lifestyle and the way you perceive yourself and the world, you are changing your perspective to a much more positive one, you don’t deserve to keep on living feeling bad about yourself and wishing you were someone else. you have the power to change.
4. create your personal signature
reconnect with the things that you love, inspire and make you feel you. create your personal signature, with your favorite scent (perfume and cream), makeup, clothing and accessories, likes and hobbies, your favorite places, everything that inspires you to be your best version.
but in the end, the first step begins when you start to become aware of your value and that you deserve everything you want.
Keep your standards high.For yourself, your relationships, your career, and everything. Don’t settle for less; know your worth. <3
Don’t tolerate people who put you down, lie to you, or try to take advantage of you. The more you allow people to mistreat you, the less they will respect you. Stand up for yourself!!
Don’t chase. What belongs to you will find you, and the people who care for you will stay by your side. So don’t make a fool out of yourself by chasing something that’s running away from you.
No more people pleasing. Learn to say “no”. You don’t have to apologise or explain yourself; saying no is completely fine.
Figure out which people in your circle make you feel good and who is draining your energy. Don’t surround yourself with those who waste your energy.
Take care of yourself. How are you going to be confident and respect yourself if you don’t care for yourself?? Invest time, energy, discipline, money and love into becoming the best version of yourself. <3
Be mindful and selective of who you trust. Don’t take criticism from people who you would take advice from.
Your boundaries are non-negotiable. Boundaries are about how you respect yourself. If someone oversteps them, cut them off!
2023 is our year of self-growth, what better place to start than setting boundaries and learning to respect ourselves? Wishing everyone a successful and beautiful January!! <3
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I love all things pretty. Dream big. Work hard. Be positive. Enjoy my blog of randomness.
